Mega Millions

by Molly

I just got back from a dash to the corner Valero for some lottery tickets.   People have been talking about this for at least a week, but somehow I still managed to be in the dark with the whole “biggest lottery ever” nonsense.   It wasn’t until this morning during Good Morning America that I realized what was going on.   Oh $640 Million.  NOW I get it.  People are lined up for hours to buy these tickets.  I definitely need in on this.

I seriously  thought it was just the Texas Lottery.  Who knew there was a nation wide lottery?!  Shows how much I “play the numbers”.

So I make plans with Terry to purchase tickets today.  Divide and conquer, or something like that.  Yes, I know that we have better odds of being hit by falling plane debris twice in one day than winning the lottery, but you never really know do you.  Until you buy the ticket.  Weirder things have happened.

Celeste and I make our way to Valero and have to ask for help in purchasing the tickets.  Thankfully there wasn’t an awful line or anything to deal with.  Only really nice people who thought we were hilarious.  Turns out you need cash to purchase said tickets.   That’s odd, they don’t let you buy a chance at millions on credit!?  I guess that proves even further how likely it is you won’t win.

We each take out a $20 and head to the register.  I also have $4 in my wallet, so I give her the total $24 and two packs of gum.  Then I ask nicely for the rest to be spent in lottery tickets.  I also asked her to make sure to save enough for one that I could do “manually” (I still don’t know what else to call it.  I just know the term is not “quick pick”).  Well, she (Edith, we are friends now) doesn’t understand me, so I get $20 in quick picks and two packs of gum.  Not sure that is correct math, but I’m sure Edith has been busy all day with other lottery idiots such as myself.

Why do I have the urge to spell quick pick like quickpic?!

I realize I need one more dollar to do the manual ticket.  Celeste casually hands me the Washington like it ain’t no thing.  I couldn’t take it.  I’ve seen enough movies to know you never gamble with someone else’s money.  BUT at the same time I really want that manual ticket.  So I fish through the coins in my purse.  $.50 found.  I also know that I have and additional $.50 in my car.  Perfect! I’m set.  I can pay her fair and square before the numbers are posted.  So I grab the $1 and fill out the ticket with my birthday and our wedding anniversary.  Then I randomly picked 35 as my mega million number because it called to me.

Edith didn’t know what to do with herself when she asked us if we wanted 26 annual payments or one cash prize.  We sat there for a good 5 minutes considering out loud the tax effects of both, the present value of the annuity, would there be interest included, etc.  Then we just looked at Edith and asked what everyone else did.  Which was take the cash prize.  Duh.

So what will I do if I win?  Probably blog professionally.  I guess I might want to crunch out the occasional tax return to keep my skills sharp?  Get a second Master’s degree?  I would like to think I wouldn’t change too much.  Just the obvious things.  Like I would for sure buy a new house that I would custom design with Southern Living,  new cars, new clothes, custom orthopedic Christian Louboutins,  private pilates sessions, a private chef… who are we kidding – servants in general, and Kate Middleton’s friendship.

See I totally wouldn’t change much at all.

Good luck to everyone tonight!