There Are So Many Ways To Cook Red Potatoes

by Molly

My sister and I share a personal training session every other week.  I sometimes feel guilty spending that little extra money on myself, but at the end of the day I manage to stay convinced that if you can’t invest in yourself, what can you invest in?

Of course our trainer, Candace, is the most perfect human specimen on the planet.  She manages to look so feminine, but at the same time shows not one ounce of body fat.   Anna and I love her.  She is always happy (it is unnatural for that early in the morning) and displays great kindness as you struggle to finish your last reps.  Let me define this kindness:  basically, instead of letting me quit, she just tells me sweetly “you’ll do 5 more”.  It is almost freakish the way she summons you to do something you really don’t want to (or feel like you can) do so nicely.   Perhaps she is a Fembot?

About a month or so ago, Candace gave me a “diet” to follow.  I asked her what she ate every day out of sheer curiosity.  She sent me the following:

Meal 1

4 egg whites, 4 oz spinach, 1 tbsp salsa, 1 tbsp udo’s oil

Meal 2

Scoop pro v 60 protein

Meal 3

4 oz extra lean 99% fat free turkey, 4 oz red potatoes, 1 tbsp salsa

Meal 4

4 oz tuna, 4 oz asparagus, 1 tbsp salsa, or 1 tsp mustard

Meal 5

1 scoop pro v 60 protein

Meal 6

4 oz romaine, 4 oz white fish or extra lean turkey,  1 tbsp udo’s oil,  1 tsp apple cider vinegar,  2 oz cucumber

I thought my phone was broken because I kept scrolling and nothing happened after Meal 6.   It took me all of 15 seconds to realize I wasn’t cut out for this type of commitment.  And then I honestly kind of removed the whole experience from my brain.    Come on, is 3 oz of cucumber really too much?

So last night we had our bi-weekly session, and she asks me how the diet is going.

Shamefully I lied and said “great!”.  Then I cautiously asked her if she seriously ate the same thing every day.  I pretended like that was the most challenging part for me.  She bought it and said “oh but there are so many ways to cook the red potatoes!”

Are there? ARE THERE?

Since I’m no stranger to a little white lie, I kept the story going.  I still don’t know why I didn’t just come clean in the first place.  You know how it is when you don’t want to hurt people’s feelings and what not.  I knew she would wonder after some period of time why I wasn’t losing any weight.  So I told her how everything was going well until I ate batches (yes plural) of cookies during the Super Bowl.   Honestly, who knew that Eli Manning’s favorite lace cookies would soon become everyone’s favorite cookie?!  They are strangely addicting.  I was just trying to be a cute hostess.

She recommended I eat a little more of Udo’s Oil to maybe curb cravings.

Oh yeah, like that will do the trick.  I’m really just plain flattered she thinks I have what it takes to be a Fembot too.