Don’t Let That Stop You…

by Molly

Yesterday I paid a visit to my stomach doctor for an annual give me my prescription, happy new year, thanks and good day check up. At least that is what I thought I signed up for.

After waiting TWO HOURS in the waiting room and another 30 minutes in the exam room, we finally meet.

You should know that I mistakenly scheduled this appointment on a very important day at work. Being gone for 3.5 hours, really wasn’t a cool thing to do. So not only am I a ball of stress when he sees me, I”m also very hungry and my stomach is burning because I’m out of medicine. Thus, why I actually waited 2.5 hours to see the magic doctor.

He tells me a bunch of things I already know, but don’t want to hear. Then he aggressively tells me I need to clean up my diet. Imagine this huge man with a heavy Turkish accent telling you while poking your stomach to abstain (not limit) from the following products:

  • Fatty/fried foods
  • Soft drinks
  • Chocolate (WTF)
  • Coffee
  • Tea
  • Alcohol

So basically he just told me my life was over.

We went back and forth and I got him down to 8 oz of coffee in the morning. Lucky me.

Then I asked him about the medicine I’m taking and whether it is ok to take while pregnant.

He pauses and then says thoughtfully “I am ok with you getting pregnant”.

Like it was maybe not an option?!! This is news to me!

He proceeds to tell me that I will probably have an incredibly painful pregnancy experience since my stomach parts are incredibly sensitive. I can still take the medicine, but it probably won’t be as effective, and then I quit listening for about 3 minutes. I’ll be honest, I was thinking of who I could con into being my surrogate. Any volunteers?!

His little PA bounces in to help me with the prescription and says “don’t let this stop you from having children” and then all this other “children are the most beautiful things” BS.

I am getting really good at my blank bitchy stare. I dish her up two helpings of it.

I left feeling kind of like I had just been crapped on. My mom made me feel a little better by telling me pregnancy was just plain uncomfortable in general. I honestly thought it was only uncomfortable at the end, so I guess this is good information to have at the forefront.

Thus, I’m going to do my very best to change my diet before this fall. I’m going to try to follow his ridiculous rules and hopefully get my stomach ready for baby making.

Well, once I finish the box of wine I bought over the weekend. Don’t judge. It isn’t like it is Franzia or something. Only high class here.