Can't Fit into My Mommy Genes

Month: October, 2011

Trick or Treat

My new job starts tomorrow, so I have the day off.  How fun is that?

I started my morning by sleeping in until 10.  Not terribly late, but my puppy Louis kept jumping on me, so I couldn’t go any longer.

Then I made a trip to our local coffee shop for a cappuccino.  When I think of a cappuccino, this is what I think of.   Obviously I’m not in Italy, so I didn’t have that high of expectations.  But what I did expect was some coffee.   When I picked up my cup, and it felt empty, I was concerned.  I went to add a packet of Splenda, and realized there was absolutely no brown surfacing as I stirred in the faux sugar.   I approached the unfriendly barista and said “trick or treat” thinking he would think it was funny.  He didn’t.  Then I asked him if he could add just a little more drip coffee, as this cappuccino didn’t seem to have any coffee in it.  That isn’t rude or unreasonable, right?!

He sassily replied “It is a one shot cappuccino, so you get one shot of espresso and equal parts steamed milk”.   Um.  A whole 12 oz cup of steamed milk is not “equal”.  I hate to pull the accountant card, but I know my ratios.

He reluctantly added about a tablespoon of drip coffee to said “cappuccino” and I was on my way.   I wanted to say “I don’t come here for the steamed milk”, but I didn’t.  I guess I’ll be stopping for coffee later this afternoon.   At Starbucks.

At least once I’m pregnant, I know exactly where to go to get coffee that won’t cause any danger to my baby.

Now that I’m home, I have a whole day of nothing ahead of me.  I have never been a fan of scary movies because quite honestly they scare the crap out of me.  Even the stupid totally not plausible ones!  Given that it is Halloween, and since I have nothing else to do (and it is still light outside ) – I’m challenging myself to the Halloween marathon on TV today.  I think this experience might make me a more well rounded parent.  No?   Can’t let my children know I fear things.

So bring it on Michael Myers.  I heard you don’t even make an appearance in Halloween III.  You and the coffee in my cappuccino have that in common.



Go Cards!!

So proud of my red birds!! See you tomorrow night for game 7 of the World Series Champions!!!


Chocolate Covered

So this week has been pretty hectic at work, since tomorrow is my last day. I’ve been training, wrapping up loose ends, and all around enjoying how much everyone is going to miss me.

I moved around a lot as a kid, so I’m used to saying good bye to good friends. I’m also used to the good ones still staying in your life no matter how far you go. I’m just going across town, so staying in touch shouldn’t be too hard.

Do you know what everyone’s first reaction is when I say “I’m leaving”?

“I really wanted to see you pregnant/throw you a baby shower”

Insert head shake here.

So I drowned my frustration in the Edible Arrangement sent to me by my sweet coworkers.


They aren’t carbs, right?

Glad we agree. Because I ate the whole box.

Dukan’t Do It

So I had my first piece of actual “bread” tonight.

I made it through an entire weekend in St. Louis, the land of carbs, without a single crumb.

Only to cave on cold pizza of all things!


Let me explain. I teach CPR classes, and each week a different girl provides dinner. Well the only option tonight was pizza. It was either that or starve until 9pm. And that’s just unreasonable.

It wasn’t my ideal cheat (cupcakes, plate of brownies, a dozen warm chocolate chip cookies, etc), but it still tasted glorious.

Tomorrow I’m back on the wagon!

I’m a Wreck

This is how I kicked off last weekend 😦

Of course it wasn’t my fault. But I’m paying the price for it with a Toyota Corolla that doesn’t have automatic lights.

I’m waiting to hear the results of the damage, so everyone cross their fingers right now that it isn’t totaled!

If it is totaled, what the heck am I going to do? Terry and I had planned to purchase an SUV once the baby came, but obviously that will be a couple years away. I don’t want it noooww. The DVD player will be obsolete by the time we have a child! So do I replace what I had? Buy something that I plan to have for a short time? Lease?

I know I’m worrying for no reason since it may not be totaled. But I like to worry for no reason. It makes me feel like I’m being proactive.

Despite the whole situation being pretty awful, it was kind of awesome closing down an entire lane of a major freeway during rush hour on a Friday. I’m not encouraging that for anyone’s bucket list, but it was pretty freaking cool just the same.

Glass half full right?!

Mawwage Is What Brings Us Together Today

Last night Terry and I went to a dinner event for the married couples at our church. It was held at a very swanky country club here in Houston, so it gave us a fun reason to dress up and celebrate us. Awwww.

Upon arrival, we bumped into another couple from our pre-marital counseling group. So many of us were married around the same time, our minister suggested lumping some of the counseling into group events. It was a really great idea, and we had so much fun with them the months leading up to our wedding. I’m sad to say we have been terrible at keeping in touch with everyone.

Now I know why. They all, ALL, have had at least one child since then. Terry and I cruised into this night with the only stress of leaving work on time, and making sure Louis got a chance to potty.

This girl said it was just so nice to get showered and put on makeup.

Dear God.

I didn’t even recognize her husband. He looked like he could be suffering from a terrible cocaine addiction.

Before I could get too freaked out and decide I didn’t want to be them one day, some divine intervention happened. A slightly older couple popped into the conversation to say hello. We got to chatting, and they said they waited ten years before having children. They said at the time they loved their life, but now they don’t even remember what it was like. Their children changed it all. Awww.

Good thing I have been diligently documenting.


Workin’ 9 to 5

If you were to ask my what my five year plan was two weeks ago, I would have told you “preschool”.  I didn’t really think it was possible to work at my current job and have the kind of family I hope to raise.  As a product of a stay at home mom, I have always wanted to live my life the same way.  Heck, who doesn’t want to play with babies all day.**

Now that I’m much older and realize what I’m giving up to do so, the five year plan isn’t so black and white.  Not only that, I’m not so sure my job isn’t the dream situation compared to “playing” with babies all day.  At the same time, I still feel very convicted about staying home to keep an eye on the little ones.   I was in quite the predicament until an opportunity presented itself to me to join a small accounting firm here in Houston.  One of the dearest souls in the world to me is also employed there, and she is also probably the biggest reason I survived being an accounting major and a short life as an auditor.  The environment is flexible, the work is exciting to me, and I have promising possibilities of growth.  And they cater lunch in on Mondays and Fridays.  Hold the carbs please.

In short, it wasn’t a hard sell to get me on board.  It was however incredibly difficult for me to give my current company my notice.  I still can’t believe I actually did it.  The relationships I have made there over the last few years have left a very big imprint on my heart.

In a way, quitting my job has always been on my bucket list (sorry old job!).  However, finding one that would be so flexible with my goals of possibly being a working mother was a very pleasant addition to the old BBL.  I guess you could say I have options, and I feel tremendously luckily for them.

I wasn’t kidding when I told you I had been really busy when we got back from Europe!

**This same girl once whined to her mother asking her why she worked so hard for women’s rights.  I’m pretty sure she said something like “what is so wrong with not being educated and wearing an apron all day?!”  My mom of course didn’t dignify that with a response.

Dukan Do It!

After two weeks in Europe and one weekend in Henderson, I’ve reached the point where I don’t fit into any jeans right now… mommy or skinny. It is depressing.

Last week I had a heart to heart with my mom about it, and she suggested that I try something new. I did my research and decided maybe it was time to give up carbs. I’m not getting any younger, so I figured my metabolism could benefit from a jolt. When I typed “no/low carb diet” into google, of course a million things came up. Success story blogs, the Atkins website, and the Dukan Diet website were among the many that caught my eye.

Before I say any more, you should know that I used to judge people who did no/low carb diets. I thought they were just drinking the Kool Aid and would do just as well on a calorie restricted diet with exercise. Well friends, that calorie restricted diet and 6 days a week at the gym habit have gotten me NO WHERE.

Thus, today is the first day of the new regime. I had a huge “farewell to carbs” celebration this weekend, which I mistakenly thought would comfort me in my time of need today. I have combined most of the literature I’ve seen on all of the diets, so I can’t say that I’m following one specific one. What I can say is that whatever I’m doing completely sucks. The food is bland, and there isn’t any crunch. I mean does a bowl of cereal really make all of the difference in the world? Apparently so since my jeans don’t fit and that is my typical breakfast. I began the day motivated and excited for the change. I made some eggs for breakfast, grabbed a cup of coffee and was on my way. Over lunch, Tiffany and I hit Whole Foods with a plan for success. Back at the office, I ate boiled shrimp and beamed at how easy this gig was. But by 1pm I was starving, and nothing sounded good to me. I selected the newly purchased fat free cottage cheese, thinking that would be a decent snack to get me through to dinner. Instead, I found myself trying to suppress the urge to vomit as I ate the curds sans whey and resorting myself to clicking through images of Kate Middleton for motivation to keep it all down.

I think the only reason this diet(s) work is because they make you so unappetized by the end of the day, you can’t bring yourself to eat anything despite the fact that you are starving.

Tonight my sister, Anna, found me clinging to a spoonful of peanut butter in the kitchen when she got home. I actually pleaded with her to let me keep eating it. Despite the lesson on added sugars, she allowed me to finish (I think because she didn’t have the heart or the nerve to try and take it from me).

The good news is, this is only temporary. I’ve been instructed to only keep it up for a short while just to see if I’m able to have any success with it. I just have to make it a few more days, and then I can blissfully ease myself back into a world where I can eat bread. Until then, I’m armed with chicken breasts, salmon, and fat free greek yogurt. Unfortunately for the fat free cottage cheese, it didn’t make tomorrow’s cut. Wish me luck!

Henderson High

Tonight we are headed to Henderson, Texas for Terry’s 10 year high school reunion.

It was a game time decision, but I finally coaxed him into going. I love any reason to live like a high schooler again. A quick trip to the salon to touch up my grays/roots, a quick couples shopping spree, one stop to the liquor store (Rusk county is dry-yes they still exist), and we were ready for action.

I caved and picked up some Disaronno for the weekend, but instructed Terry that no one was allowed to find out about my little habit until they were in the circle of trust. To secure my identity, I picked up a case of Coors Light to throw them off the scent. If anyone asks, I’m drinking bourbon. That sounds much sexier.

I couldn’t be more excited to start the weekend with a clandestine disaronno + ginger ale and some Friday night football. If only I had a mum!

Have a great weekend!



Dirty Laundry

Terry and I are going out of town this weekend for his 10 year high school reunion. Tonight we are running around taking care of last minute packing, since we are hitting the road directly after work tomorrow in an effort to make Friday night’s football game.

Terry is the designated ironer in the family. He is a wizard with the iron, and makes everything looks so crisp and fresh. Since he is proven to be so good at the skill, he now gets the task of ironing all of the shirts. Makes total sense, right? He claims he shouldn’t be punished for his gift. As I sit trying to write this post tonight, I shout (kindly) out a request to iron my shirt for the weekend. He is upstairs, so I give him some vague directions on where to find said shirt. He comes down with a man’s blue shirt with a giant stain on the front, and says “who’s shirt is this?”. I say “um, yours?”. He says “This shirt is from Old Navy, and I don’t own a shirt like this”. Ok then, the shirt probably belongs to my brother (who has been crashing at our house periodically while he relocates to Houston with his family).

Terry is skeptical, and begins to passive aggressively iron my shirt. After a few quiet minutes he looks up and says “if you are going to have an affair, you should at least have the good sense to do it with someone who isn’t a messy eater… and I figured you for someone who wears a designer label anyway.”

And this is why I love him.

PS: I really hope this shirt does belong to my brother. If it doesn’t, I think I’m the one who has more reason for concern than Terry.